Kill TPBM!

Write a creative way to kill the person below you. And avoid being killed.

Nobody was expecting anything, so I dug a whole for the person below me, and waited in the shadows.

I laugh to myself inwardly as I watch from a nearby tree at the person's hole he has dug. Foolish man being! I see TPBM and aim my crossbow at them and fire a bolt at them.

Luckily, I notice Anni has untied my shoes in an attempt to steal them and bend to tie them so the bolt flies overhead. I then press the detonator button for the bomb situated underneath the person below me.

The bomb hisses and fisses before going silent, with me holding a blue wire in my left hand and pliers in my other. I then take my phone and call 0345-555-NINJA and send ninjas on TPBM that attack him while hes/she is in the bathroom!!

The ninjas enter the room as silently as shadows and I don't even notice them. They fall to the ground since the stench in unfathomable for anyone else but myself. I pull my pants up and leave the bathroom, stepping over dead ninjas.

I then realize that the world is a zombie apocalypse and fly away with a helicopter, leaving my survivor buddy TPBM behind, trapped in an elevator with zombies everywhere

I exit the lift and as the lift stops, so does the horrid elevator music. I look around and notice that with the end of the music, people are returning back to normal. I pull ear plugs out of my ears, who knew elevator music was that bad?!

I push the button which fires a homing missile at the person below me.